Vengeance Taken for the Fantastic Invasion!

Well, now May is coming to a neat little close.  It's been 2 years since I first moved down here to Little Egypt.  An experience that has helped me to grow, learn, become, etc.  Of course, there's always the sneaking fear that I've gone native.

I've been re-reading parts of Heart of Darkness partially because it feels necessary.  Part of me has forgotten who I used to be, and can't even picture going back there.  I adopted the "journey to the unknown" motif when I first made the move (as evidenced in my early posts), and I think it's now appropriate on a deeper level now.  There's a great line in Conrad's masterwork:  


"But the wilderness found him out early, and had taken vengeance for the fantastic invasion. I think it had whispered to him things about himself which he did not know, things of which he had no conception till he took counsel with this great solitude--and the whisper had proved irresistibly fascinating."

Of course, Marlowe is talking about Kurtz's descent into, by European standards at the very least, madness.  In my case, I'd like to think I'm still hovering within "sane" territory.  (Although it gets harder to tell with each passing day.)  Rather, I think the solitude my move and consequent work schedule have made nearly unbreakable has allowed me to figure out deeper things within myself.

There's no one around to tell me my ideas are stupid or weighty.  There's no real outside judgement on what I think or do, so I have no rules of life except via religion/philosophy.  So I've made efforts to read more of the masters.  Of course, I've flirted with madness, too, but, like I said, I think I'm still a few years from getting committed...